No matter how much love songs he’s trying to sing nor hear everyday, its never even close to how awesomely his heart beat when the girl that he’s assume as the one walks by.
Olla! Long time no-post! Straight to business shall we?
There’s this girl, which, or whom I mighta, sorta falling over. We started as a friends, as normal people always did before the whole relationships going humpty-dumpty. Everything went well, except for one thing. I fell for her, I fell deeply enough to felt that only with her, my world’s gonna go upside down, in a positive way. One way or another, I realized that somehow, I’ve to show her how I feel, how I really feel. Not because I have to, not because someone else ask me to, but because I wanted to. And so, long story short, I started to do things that past me wouldn’t even think about it, but either she’s realizing it or not, that feeling’s awesome, no idea about how, but damn its just feel good. But yet, there’s this, mixed signal that I received from her, which gives me a second thoughts.
In the end, I’ve no idea how these things gonna get going, but, may everything’s that’s gonna happen later, is, somehow, good.
Its funny when you think that you’re already get over someone, then suddenly when you see him/er once more, you realize that you’ve going nowhere.
One word. Wicked! Its 2012 already! Damn, time really does go fast when we enjoy things, not. To be honest, things are not going so well in 2011, there’s a lot of sadness, disappointment, and sadness (yes, I do realize I mention sadness two times, but what up? Its my tumblr post, eh?)
But yet, when its meant to be, it will happen. There are a lot of good things happened in 2011, new friends, new environment, new #you, even new me!
For the New Year’s Eve, I was hoping to spend the whole night at some mountain, but then, instead of that, I went to all over the town with my family, we ate, hang out, its fun in short, no remorse in that for sure.
So uh, the New Year’s Resolution thing huh? Well, I just wanna enjoy this whole little things I’ve been through lately, so, keep it coming God, You sure know my limits ain’t you? For the family, I hope we’re getting stronger, whatever it takes, we are, family indeed, we’re going through this together for sure. For me, I hope I’m getting better, better at everything. As in anger management, ego, self control etc. Well okay, maybe not the best, just, better, it is more than enough for me. For the relationship thingy, I just hope that I can meet #her, soon.
Well, to be honest, I’m not that kind of optimist person to like, elaborate my resolution here so it will motivate me for making it happens, but hey, being a little optimistic once a year won’t kill, right?
All in all, Happy New Year 2012 folks! Lets just hope the Mayans are wrong, eh?
”.. Gaudi, to his credit, never gave up on his dream. But that’s not usually how it goes. Usually it isn’t a speeding bus that keeps the brown, pointy, weird church from getting built. Most of the time it’s just too difficult, too expensive, too scary. It’s only once you’ve stopped that you realise how hard it is to start again, so you force yourself not to want it. But it’s always there. And until you finish it, it will always be.. Unfinished.” - Ted (from How I Met Your Mother)
Yes. Unfinished. One thing we can’t deny is we always have that one specific unfinished things, either its a family things, work things, or the most conventional one, relationship things.
Me myself had one unfinished relationship things, or well maybe, I don’t quite sure whether it is unfinished, or it is finished. There’s this girl, ‘sunny’, which I find attractive, smart, or in short, the kind of girl that can make me think “she’s the ‘one’”.
All in all, I don’t quite understand, and to be honest, remember, how things going, but one thing for sure, we ended up texting. We text like almost everyday, night and day. We text about almost everything, from how random her day is, until to how stupid I can be. But one thing for sure, I felt like, almost hundred percent sure that she is, by any chance, the one. We just, clicked. The funny thing is, or more like the embarrassing thing is, I haven’t, or couldn’t, met her in person.
When everything seems to be just perfect, she dump me. Maybe dump is not delicate to describe what she did to me, so uh, she, left me. She backing off. Without words, without warning. And that’s it, unfinished. Well okay maybe now things are going fine between me and her, but there is like, this something, that I’m sure, its haven’t finished.
So in the end, maybe Ted is right, maybe I, or we, look things are way too difficult, too scary so that we can’t, or won’t finish it. So when there’s some glimpse of thing that related to the-unfinished-thing, the memory, the feeling that we have felt before, is coming again, bigger than before. But no matter how hard we’re trying to finish it, to end it, the hope so things won’t end up as it is, always disrupting us, distracting us to keep it ‘unfinished’.
So sooner or later, I, we, have to end it, to finish it, whatever the ending will be, not because we wanted to, but because we have to. Why? Because like what Ted said, it will always there, it will always remain to be, unfinished.
There are many things lately that keeps bugging me. One of that things are, the definition of love (again). One of my bestest friends asked me a question last night, and to be honest, that is one hell of a weird one.
All in all, she was asking, “have I ever fall in love?”. Well, at the first time, I thought that it was just an ordinary question, and I answered it, as simple as that. And when the night goes, I kept thinking of that question, and asked the same question to me, myself, “have I?”.
Yes, or maybe no, I don’t know for sure, what is this ‘love’ people often to talk about anyway? What kind of feeling is that? How can a butterfly in our tummy is, anyway, capable, of explaining what is fall in love feels like?
In the end, I have no idea, have, or haven’t I fall in love, whatever the definition are. But one thing for sure, I’ve felt one kind of feeling that feels just like happiness, and that happiness, is caused by an existence of someone, which maybe that is, by any chance, the definition of love itself.
And now the question is for you, yes, you who have spending your time reading this what so called a story. “Have You Ever Fall In LOVE?”
My feeling is my business, whether people like it or not I will stay true to every feeling my heart tells me to feel. I’m not saying that I do like her, but in time, if I ever fall in love with her, I will not hold back any of that feeling, I won’t say the opposite just to be close with her like most of guys would say ‘of course, I just wanna be friends with you’ after a girl rejects, I don’t care about how her feelings towards me, I wont ask her to love me back, but if in time I do love her, then let the feeling be real and let me say to her what I feel
